As I sit at my computer with a cup of coffee on September 11, ten years after that horrific morning, thankfully enjoying the freedom to do so, I begin to think about the impact of system shock.
System Shock and Personal Growth
Somethings I know. For instance, I know my hand pulls away when it touches a hot stove. I know I like the taste of cinnamon and sugar, individually. I know I like the taste and warmth of coffee. But sometimes coffee tastes a little bitter, or sometimes I feel like the coffee could be so much more than its original aroma. So, I shock the system to gain new insights to see if the new experience is more pleasurable or creates an unfavorable result. By shocking the system over time, I’ve found that I enjoy a little sugar (not too much) and cream to my cup of coffee. Sometimes, I think that even though this combination is good, could it be better? So, I shock the coffee with something new, cinnamon. Maybe the coffee is happier with cinnamon, but I don’t enjoy it as much as sugar and cream. When I look back on my past and think to the times I experienced the greatest personal change and growth, it came from moments of shocking the system. Which means I had to shock myself to experience something different. Whether it was my first day at The Citadel, or the courageous moment I talked to a girl that became my wife. Sometimes we have to use system shock to test things that we think are going well, and sometimes we have to use system shock to change things we know are going poorly.
System Shock and the Family Business
One of these moments in system shock was realizing I had to change my dad’s perspective of seeing me as more than just a son, but as an adult, and as a leader in the family business. As we worked together, we had meetings with suppliers, employees, and customers, yet he viewed me only as his son and continued to play the father role in these settings. I tried talking rationally about the scenario with my dad, talking about how he treated me as a son instead of a leader in the business and how this undermined my ability to lead. That wasn’t enough to shock the system. I had to think of a strategy that would shock the system enough to change it. So, I started calling him by his first name instead of “dad.” Not only was I shocking the father son system, I was shocking the family system, the business system, and my system. The system shock caused waves because it created cognitive dissonance, an unbalance in the way life was supposed to be. I explained to my dad the reasons for the shift and told him it would continue until we were able to work together as professional leaders of the family business. Over time, he eventually changed, as I was consistent in my behavior. But, the change experienced by employees, customers, and suppliers was almost immediate. This system shock allowed the company to change and grow. I certainly grew and changed, but you have to ask my dad if he did.
The important lesson in system shock is that you can’t go about randomly shocking systems and expect effective change, and remember you are seeking to gain new insights that might be rewarding, like sugar and cream or as unpleasant as a hand on a hot stove. You must start with a purpose. Mine was to shift the father son dynamic because it was impeding company growth. Then you must be a person of internal consistency or people will not take you serious, because people may perceive your actions as random. You must have knowledge about the situation, you must know certain things, and you must know what things need to be targeted. Once you have aligned the purpose with your integrity and gained the necessary knowledge, you can attempt to shock the system by using your imagination to try something new, gaining new insights. As the example of the “butterfly effect” claims, small changes can lead to large changes. In the end, the family business was fairly successful under my leadership, and I did go back to calling him dad.
